Hi there. I see you’ve found my blog. By accident I’m sure. Probably browsing around looking for something interesting or juicy to read no doubt. Well, I’m sure you’ll find that here.
This blog isn’t just any old blog of someone babbling off random bull shit for your pleasure. No instead this is a peak inside my secret life and my head. Yes. I said secret life. It’s still only just budding and I’m not sure how about it just yet, but I do know I don’t want to stop.
You see, I’m what’s known as a good girl. A sex freak at home behind closed doors, but I’m still a good girl. I work my long hours every week (all 60 of them) and I come home to who should soon be my husband and my son. We live in a nice three bedroom house, and while it’s not the best house it’s still home. And I love my fiance and his son. We advrnture around in the bedroom quite a bit but ive always been very dedicated and adamant about my ideals of our relationship. We can add people to the bedroom from time to time (which believe me, we most certainty do) but in the end it’s just the two of us. We don’t go out without permission from the other and fuck around. We don’t fuck around without the other unless it’s some kink the other has.. more often than not it’s his. Actually it’s always his kink.
That all being said… this blog is mainly about me putting all my ideals and values aside and doing something I never thought I’d be able to do. Cheat.
You see, I’ve had someone cheat on me before. Repeatedly. And I’ve forgiven. I knew how it felt to find out and the heart break it caused. I thought it was something that was well beyond me. I’m one of those woman who would and does do anything and everything for their significant other. I’ll put myself through emotional torture before I let my person go through anything unwanted. That’s just how I am. Him or them before myself. Always. But now I’ve fallen into that hole and while I feel terrible for doing it, its actually really hot and I’m getting the sex I’ve been craving but have been going without for a long while now.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “what, you guys don’t have sex? You were just talking about how you add people in all the time!?” Oh no my friend. It’s not that we don’t have sex. On the contrary. We have sex all the time. On a regular basis. The longest we go without is a week and that’s just because I’m on my period and I hate period sex.
The lack of sex I’m talking about is the tender kind. The one where there’s a connection made and you’re not just fucking. When you look each other in the eye and there’s that lust. That I want your body to be mine sensation. You want all of them so bad you wish the sensations of what you’re doing wouldn’t stop. The sensation of hands and lips on skin and teeth nipping. Intimacy. Not just fucking to get off because you’re horny. Not just rough because you’ve had a shitty day or week and you need something or someone to take that frustration out on. And you see, that’s all I’ve been getting. Fucking. Not intimacy.
I didn’t start this whole thing out with the intention of cheating. Quite the opposite actually. I’d opened a plenty of fish (pof) account along with a meetme for the express purpose of finding another woman to join us in the bedroom. Usually he handled this kind of thing because, well, to put it nicely I’m crap at picking up on woman. I can flirt all day with a guy. But when it comes to a girl I’m just at a loss. But this time I wanted to try my hand at it. I wanted to surprise him with what he wanted to possibly alleviate the stress we’ve been under for months now. He wanted another woman and I wanted to give that to him. So I made the profiles. Stated clearly that we weren’t looking for men, and that we wanted a girl to have a little bit of fun with. I posted a few discreet pictures, used a fake name, and proceeded from there.
Despite my attempts to thwart men away from the profiles, but for my surprise(not) you still get resilient men who message insisting on some kindbif arrangement they could off if they were allowed to join or have me alone. Turn down after turn down. Message after message ignored. I admit I browsed men a little here and there just out of idle curiosity about who was around. If I knew anyone personally.. and let’s be honest ideas getting some eye candy too. But maybe that’s where I made my mistake. Or was it not a mistake and just a blessing in disguise coming to show me really what was going on in my life.. But that’s neither here nor there. I still haven’t decided what this is yet.
So I browsed. More so when I was pissed off and upset to get my mind off of what was going on around me. I only clicked a few profiles. One or two that I found their pictures to be very attractive. And if you’re familiar with the sites, people get notified that you’ve viewed them. I didn’t care.
But then one day I got a message from a guy. One that id viewed briefly the previous day. Not one looking to hook up. Just a simple thing asking me how my day was going. It was another shit day and I relished the chance to talk to someone who didn’t just want to fuck or yell at me for some stupid reason or another. I was tired of what had slowly become a daily routine for me. And he was offering me that chance just by sending me one simple Message.
So I went with it. I messaged him back and startted talking. He was hot anyway. Shit I wasn’t fucking around. What did it matter if I was idly chattering with an attractive guy, whom I found very quickly had an awesome personality. I was laughing and smiling as we messaged back and forth for hours while I was at work. And then honesty became a factor. Compliments jumped in. We exchanged goofy pictures so we got a better idea of the others personality and looks. Personality os everything to me. And then we started flirting.. And he viewed my profile. He seemed to back off a little bit after that and brought it up to me that he noticed I was only looking for woman.
I couldn’t help but curse. Shit. I was getting too into this. I didn’t want to stop flirting and laughing and enjoying myself. So I was going to be selfish and ignored that naggiung voice in the back of my head that I normally heeded. I told him the one thing i never told anyone. That I had a boyfriend, but I basically had free reign. I got to do basically what I wanted when I wanted, and that included going out to “play”.
It wasn’t a lie. I do have free reign as long as I told him first and made sure to pass everything by him. When who where etc. Hed demanded multiple times that I go out and get fucked because he wasn’t in the mood or he didn’t want ME. Insisted that I’d like it and that it was hot. But the 2 times I did because he wanted me to in the past I hated it. It was uncomfortable and it felt wrong. I wanted him. Not just some random hook up. If I just wanted to get off i could masturbate. It would be a lot easier and take up a lot less time and, if you count the gas spent, money.
Now let me explain something here. I love sex. If I had my way I’d have sex like 3 times at least a day. Well, until things calm down with whoever I’m with anyway. But even then I want it frequently. I’m a touchy person. I love the sensations. But the issue with that is that I’m also demisexual. Don’t know what that is? Well allow me to explain:
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond. Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity.
Basically, if I can’t sit here and talk to you for hours on end about anything and everything or just be comfortable with who you are and your personality, I REALLY could care less about sex when it comes to you. Makes it really hard to be a proper swinger when the only person included in the situation you are currently immersed in that you’re attracted to and want to touch and have touch you is the person you’re there with. We didn’t bother learning much about these people before getting down to business. While sexually it made things worse, emotionally I think I prefer it that way.
So the guy, let’s call him Kyle, took me at my word and was relieved to hear that I was being honest with him. Continued to be sweet and we talked the remainder of the day, back and forth. Flirting. Complimenting. Pictures.
Oh god the pictures. They escalated. He offered to show me his favorite picture of himself that hed ever taken, but warned that it was nsfw. I should have stopped him there. Told him no, that id be fine doing without. But instead I blushed and said if be interested in seeing and that I had a few like that myself. This all continued and somehow I managed to do it all under the radar of my clingy boyfriend. My fiance. The one who blows my phone up if I didn’t answer quickly enough while I was away from him.
And then we set up a meeting. Where I’d come see him for a few hours. We’d fuck and snuggle and play video games. And god was I excited for it. But my nerves were killer. They threatened to consume me and the voice in my head screamed at me, asking me what the hell I was doing. I hushed it. Justified that I was in the right for doing it. He’d cheated on me multiple times before. He hasn’t wanted me for a long while now either. Why shouldn’t I get to have a little fun and enjoy my day off while he was working.
The day before we were suppose to meet up, we’d been talking all day while he worked and we eventually decided that kyle would come and see me while I worked. Just for a little bit. Keep me company while I worked out where I was. when he arrived, the first thing this man did was walk up and kiss me. And I’m not saying one of these little peck on the lips kisses. I’m talking full blown grab my waist and pull me close, hand where my ear and neck meet passionate kiss. Fireworks. Sparks went off behind my eyes. I was speechless for a minute and he just laughed at me. What a hello. What a first real meeting. But we didn’t stop there.
You see, I know I failed to mention this before, but I’m security guard. And the current site I’m posted at is outside and a high security area. There’s people coming and going all the time. So there is no real way of doing anything out here… even though I really really wanted to… And on top of it I work with my boyfriend. And on certain days, like this one, he is my supervisor and is driving around checking on everyone through out the day.
While at first I had no intention of the two meeting… ever. Kyle had no intention of leaving so soon. And he was frisky. We made out between vehicles and played it off like we weren’t doing anything when we heard one coming, and as one got out of sight we went right back to doing what we were doing. Being handsy. He was boarder line fingering me through my uniform pants, and Jesus h Christ did I want him to. Shit, I’d been gloating to him about my skills with my tongue for days. So I actually got ballsy and pushed him into the driver seat of his truck and undid his pants. His dick was so hard I could cut diamonds with it. I didn’t care that we were at my work. It was hot thinking that someone might catch us. That my boyfriend might. That what we were doing was taboo and wrong. It made me want it even more.
So right there. I sucked his cock until he almost came in my mouth. God just thinking about it is making me horny again and wanting more. The only thing that stopped me was a vehicle heading towards the exit of my area. It was my boyfriend making his rounds. Quickly he zipped himself back up and righted himself on his truck seat like he’d just been sitting there in his truck talking to me. It was a bit awkward explaining who he was and how I knew him. Why he was there. I didn’t entirely lie to my boyfriend about Kyle. It turned out we knew each other in high school. Well, knew of each other. So I said he was an old friend from high school who was being a lookey loo and just so happened to stumble on me and wanted to sit and talk for a bit.
I know this all makes me sound like a terrible person. Like I said, I do feel terrible for it. But it just all feels so good and right that I don’t want to stop. I want more. I’m like an addict and this is my drug just after one taste. So I’m a Sinful woman who just can’t get enough of that delicious sin…